Princess Moments

A memory Forgotten

By Erin Mifflin

 She shouldn’t have accepted his marriage proposal.

Lady Amira studied the silver ring that gripped her finger like a vise. It wasn’t the fit that constricted but the commitment she’d made to Prince Nicholas Arden.

She liked Nicholas, but she’d known him so briefly. Was she ready for marriage to this man and the changes it would bring? His proposal had taken her by surprise, and she hadn’t known what to say except yes. Could one say no to a prince?

Two hours ago he had asked her the important question in this very courtyard, and now she had returned for a moment alone. Trees robed in their autumnal glory stood sentinel beside the stone columns. Orange and yellow leaves carpeted the paver stones. The crisp air nipped her nose as the sun dipped into the western part of the sky.

“There you are.”

Amira whirled, dropping her hands to her side. Nicholas’s mother Queen Philippa stepped through the doorway, looking elegant, even in her less formal attire. The woman’s dark hair was perfectly arranged and faint lines fanned from the corners of her eyes.

Nerves clogged Amira’s throat. She offered a smile she hoped looked genuine. It had been ten years since her mother had passed away, but in the seven days since she’d come to Arden Castle, Amira had begun to feel close to Nicholas’s mother. The queen had welcomed her and made her feel at ease, giving her more warmth than Amira had known in a long time. What would the woman say if she knew the thoughts racing through her head?

Birds twittered an evening song as Queen Philippa studied her.

“Do you love my son?”

The words were gentle, yet Amira drew a sharp breath. The scent of fallen leaves filled her nostrils and she averted her gaze. “I—I care for him.”

Her weak answer hung in the air.

“Marriage is a serious commitment.”

Amira dared to meet the queen’s gaze once more. “I know.”

That was the very reason she doubted her answer now. She didn’t want to be married for the sake of marriage alone. If she was to be wed, she wanted to be able to give her husband her whole heart, and to receive his whole heart as well.

“You slipped away almost as soon as Nicholas made the announcement.” The queen tilted her head. “He is so excited that he’s gone to the stables to share the news with the groom. He cannot contain his joy. But you, my dear. I wondered where you had gone.”

“I needed some time to think.” That was true, though it didn’t cover the depth of her inner turmoil.

“May I ask what you’re thinking about?”

Amira’s lips threatened to tremble at the queen’s gentle tone, and she pressed them together. Dare she open her heart? “I’ve known Nicholas for only a week. I can hardly believe he would choose me after so brief an acquaintance.”

The queen hummed. “I think you are missing something, Amira.”

Amira braced herself. Would the queen try to assuage her without hearing what she was truly saying?

“I’ll get Nicholas.”

Panic clawed at Amira’s chest. “I’m sure that’s not necessary.”

She couldn’t confess her hesitation to Nicholas only hours after promising to join her life with his. Surely that would be worse than if she’d turned down his proposal in the first place.

“It is. You will see.” The queen’s lips curved up. “Wait here for him.”

Alone once more with her thoughts, Amira paced to the edge of the courtyard and leaned against the stone railing. Pink streaks stretched across the sky as she stared to the north, toward the land of her home.

Why had her brother brought her here? She’d lived quietly with her aunt and uncle since the passing of their parents. Her carefree childhood had come to an abrupt halt when her father died in a hunting accident and her mother from illness scarcely a year later. Memories of those days were hazy at best but contained a happy glow in her heart.

Her brother Henry, two years her senior, had been allowed to finish his education and maintain a public life. Amira had rarely left her uncle’s estate in the intervening years. She couldn’t claim her aunt and uncle were cruel, but they were exacting with stern ideals. They’d brought in tutors to instruct her in decorum and every subject they thought she should master. Who needed friends when one was training to run an estate one day?

Two weeks ago Henry had come to visit and shocked them all by declaring he was taking Amira to Arden Castle. The household had been thrown into a tizzy, with maids preparing gowns and her aunt lecturing her on the best way to catch a nobleman’s eye.

Amira fingered an embellishment on the skirt of her flowy blue gown. Aunt Beryl surely never would have dreamed it would be the prince whose head had been turned. If only it were a nobleman! Perhaps the dread of this hasty engagement might not hang so heavily in such a case. It was no small thing to become a princess.

Footsteps sounded behind her. Amira turned from the rail and pushed her thoughts aside.

Nicholas approached, enthusiasm beaming on his bearded face. “My mother sent me to find you, my own Lady Amira.”

Despite her misgivings over the new state of their relationship, the sincerity of his greeting touched her.

He reached for her hands, and his fingers curled around hers. “Your brother will be pleased to hear about our engagement when he returns from the lowlands.”

Henry had stayed at Arden Castle only two days after bringing Amira before heading to some neighboring estates for a house party, leaving with her with Nicholas, his sisters, and the king and queen. If Amira ever needed family guidance, surely it was now, when she didn’t know what to say to this man who claimed he wanted her for his bride.

Nicholas’s excitement dimmed. “Are you well? You are so quiet.”

She wasn’t known as a chatterbox even in the best of times. “I am merely trying to adjust to the idea of being engaged to you.”

“Ah. I noticed you slipped away when Mother asked about planning a ball to announce our happy news. Are you not a fan of balls?”

Amira bit her bottom lip. “It’s not that.”

“No?” His brows dipped.

She drew in a steadying breath. Better to speak as honestly as possible. “Everything has happened so quickly. I’m not sure I’m ready to make an announcement yet.”

“Of course I want you to be comfortable before we tell everyone.” His thumb caressed the back of her hand. “I’ve waited so long to ask you to marry me. I could not be more thrilled to become your husband.”

Why did he say he had waited so long? He’d only known her a week. Amira glanced at the trees again. Their stalwart beauty calmed her. If they could stand strong and glorious through the change of seasons, so could she.

“We’ve known each other such a short amount of time,” she whispered.

“Amira.” His voice called her attention to his face. “Do you really not remember?”

“Remember what?” Surely she would recall being in the presence of a prince.

“Our meeting when we were children.”

She stilled. Faces from long ago flashed across her memory. Did any of them have Nicholas’s dark hair and blue eyes?

“Henry brought me to visit your family. We were at school together. I was going through a time when I wanted to make friends on my own and not merely because I was a member of the royal family.” Nicholas’s shoulder rose and fell as he took a deep breath. “I was called Nico then.”

She gasped. “Nico?”

“Yes.” A grin stretched across his features. He lifted her hand to his whisker-covered jaw. “The scar is just visible if you look closely.”

She leaned closer, catching sight of a small scar marring his cheek a fraction of an inch above the line of his beard.

Nico. That was a name—and a boy—she did remember. He and Henry must have been around fourteen years of age at the time of his visit. Her parents had still been alive, and she had not yet been isolated at her uncle’s country home. The two youths had expelled their boundless energy playing at sword drills and riding horses. She had watched them or even joined them when her mother would allow.

Only a day before Nico’s departure he had taken a fall from his horse. Amira could still picture the scene. The boy lying on the ground, his clothes covered in dirt, everything dulled in appearance except for the bright red blood seeping from a wound on his face. She recalled the smell of the grass and the sound of Nico’s horse galloping back to the stables. Henry had instructed her to stay while he went for help.

“You remember.” Light shone in Nicholas’s eyes.

“Yes.”

She’d torn a strip of her underskirt and held it to his face to stop the bleeding. The minutes had seemed like hours before Henry returned with Father and a groom. Amira had talked with him and tried to put him at ease while they waited.

“I never forgot your kindness.” Nicholas’s tone deepened. “I knew from that moment that I wanted to marry you or someone just like you.”

Could it be? Her hand lay on his jaw, his beard tickling her palm. That lively youth had captured her fancy all those years ago, and though time and loss had dimmed her memory of him, wonder crept across her soul as she met his gaze.

“We did not meet one week ago.” He leaned into her hand. “I have loved you for years.”

Her eyes stung, and she blinked back looming tears.

“It was my great regret that I was unable to visit you again before your parents died, and Henry told me your uncle and aunt did not allow anyone to see you. But I saw you, Amira. When you were young, I saw who you were. I saw who you could be. I saw the woman I hoped I could spend my life with.”

More scenes paraded through her mind. The years of loneliness. The exhaustion of living to high standards with scarcely a word of comfort. Her eyes fell closed.

Nicholas’s voice washed over her. “Your brother finally told me that he believed he could bring you to visit. I thought you would remember me. Though it was long ago, you have remained vibrant in my mind.”

Amira opened her eyes and shook her head. “I did not remember until just now.” The pain from the past receded as their gaze held.

He guided her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

Her heart galloped. She had known the boy, and now she had a lifetime to get to know the man in front of her.

“I have loved you for years, Lady Amira. Let me ask you again, now that I am no longer a memory forgotten. Will you be my princess?”

She continued to study his face in the fading light of sunset. Joy spread through her heart, flowing through channels that had been closed and watering places long parched. Her heart had found a home.

“Yes, Prince Nicholas, I will.”